as I write this, I’m overly still with gratitude that I’ve made it this far in my life (we’ll talk about this later). In the same token, I’m deeply praying I make it home to my wife and son who are sound asleep and expecting me to be there when they wake.
According to some - I’d be remiss if I didn’t acknowledge that I’m aware that we are all currently in a state of emergency, while also searching for peace and solidarity in the crevices in between. In one hand, I have those who share my blood and those who favor my features hurting and fighting all around the world. In the other, I’m putting every tool I can possibly find to work against the chains that keep us where we are to break this cycle. For a while now, I’ve been afraid that I’ve been expressing myself differently. Though, it’s apparent to me now that I’ve just been at a loss for words and confused about who to actually form them for.
Just like you, somewhere along the line I’ve been tripped up and stepped right into the rat race we swear to never join. Ever since, I’ve been staring at my feet on this conveyor belt to conformity and unknowingly forcing my posture to be one that is more suitable to what we see when we turn our vision outward, away from the heart. I’ve been through things so severe in my life that it took about 3 weeks for the current events to even break skin for me. I need more. I want more. I crave more. Not for myself, but for us all. This is why I decided to go back to practicing the one thing that lightened up the neutral-colored world I was born into in the first place. Writing. I am worthy of everything that is more. My existence is currency. I believe the same for you. Even if the you who is reading this is actually just my own big-headed self referencing back to my thoughts on this day and time to reflect. Everything is everything. It took me 2+ decades to realize every single one of us truly is worthy, no matter where we are. One day, you’ll realize that too. Maybe even in the midst of what feels like the last days of our lives. With the time, strength, and opportunity I have left - I’ve decided to paint an entirely new picture. And this time the whole world will see.